4:38am Couldn't sleep because I played a stupid game called TwoDots on my iPhone all night in bed instead of sleeping. A student suggested it or challenged me. I can't remember because that conversation seems hazy. What I do know is that I have to get out of my bed and teach high school math. The subject is so eloquent and pleasing but my ability to lose myself in its beauty turns to frustration when I have to hear statements like "This junk is hard" and "I don't understand". They spit in the faces of the great ones who sacrificed themselves so that Algebra students could mock them.
6:22am Finally in the car after giving my son many scowling looks for almost making me only on time. He is in the passenger seat with his hoodie bound tightly against his head in the hopes of protecting himself from germs. I find it useless to rationalize given he may have an OCD. I'll have to research OCD when I have a few hours.
7:45am Now that I'm at the high school, I wish I would have faked an illness. The students are everywhere and not in my homeroom class. I mark them absent even though I see them running around. Inside of my room, students are using my markers to write their names with obnoxiously large letters. My colleagues try to make small talk with me in the midst of the chaos. "So how was your Thanksgiving break?" I try to search for a reply in my head even though no thought should be required for an answer that is predetermined. "It was...good" is the only reply I could muster.
9:14am Class has started and I've already lost them. I've chosen difficult word problems that I don't have the answers for because I'm bored. I few of the students are trying to solve them as we bounce off ideas, which I am enjoying and jotting around the room. Te (Extroverted Thinking) is in effect as I'm talking and writing but some students are having side conversations and I can hear and comprehend them simultaneously. The problem is throwing me off and I'm getting distracted. I start barking commands for seat changes. When that doesn't work, the biting and sarcastic comments roll off of my tongue with ease. Class is now over.
11:25am I'm underneath my desk.
12:16am It is lunch time and I wonder if I should eat with my teacher neighbors. If I do, I'll either dominate the conversation with some arbitrary research or say nothing at all while topics that I care nothing about ensue. My son comes in the room for germ-x and dances around the room spouting off ideas for new inventions. He's an ENTP. As he speaks, I wish I could get back under my desk.
2:05pm I've completely blown my planning period on Words with Friends. Laughing as I dominate the boards on multiple games. My sheer enjoyment heightens as my opponents hurl spiteful words like "Vulcan" at me in the chat. Unfortunately, the fun has to end and I must endure my last class for the day. Freshmen. They pour in loudly as they travel in packs from P.E. Sweaty and boisterous. They want the bathroom and water and complain my classroom smells. They are the ones that stink. They're not interested in my lesson and somehow I have transitioned from a smiling and welcoming teacher to one that is yelling something about using differential calculus to predict their time of death. It all seems like another bad movie where I am watching and playing the main role. The school day has finally ended and my face is flat on my desk.
5:14pm Home is a much better place. My teen-aged son goes off to troll some unsuspecting soul on the internet. I make coffee.
7:49pm World of Warcraft is my virtual home away from home. I've always prided myself as an accomplished player with chart topping DPS and the ability and stamina to maintain focus for hours. While I'm completing a dungeon with a party, someone says in chat says "Hey warlock, be careful when using Mannoroth's Fury with Rain of Fire, your going to pull to much aggro". What? I read the statement again and check to make sure I am the only Warlock that could have been directed to. He IS talking to me. Is he insane? I know I examined the radius before placing down my AoE. "Maybe if you weren't such a pathetic tank you would notice you pulled to many mobs" I reply. The chat goes wild and I'm typing more than killing.
9:58pm I think about it all as I find my way back to the same bed from the beginning of the day.Think about tomorrow and the rest of the week. Where did I go wrong? How can I change it all. Maybe I should get out from under my desk and conquer this world. It's a responsibility not fit for the weak-minded. Somehow I'll find the patterns, make the connections that create the design. The answer does exist somewhere within my mind. I will sleep tonight and realize the meaning behind the dream. But first, I'm going to kick this guy's ass at Words with Friends.
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